How to avoid victim-blaming in your work

Most of us have heard about victim-blaming before. But do you really have a good understanding of it?

I see and hear people victim-blame all the time. This is either at work or out in the public and usually around family and sexual violence.

How can you be sure you don’t unintentionally victim-blame when working with your clients?

Victim-blaming is seen in many different situations, but mainly in cases of crime, abuse or violence. Victim-blaming attitudes towards women are common in our society. Sexual assault is probably more known for victim-blaming, and in the context of gendered sexual violence. Typical victim-blaming involves remarks like “she asked for it”, “she was wearing a short skirt what did she expect”, “she was drunk”.

It is a little disheartening that we have victim-blaming still happening in all societies and cultures. In Australia, there has been a lot of public awareness and education over the years. They have aimed educate on issues relating to women experiencing family or sexual violence and to explain what is ‘violence against women’.

In recent years, media and reporting guides have been developed by various state government departments and specialist family violence organisations. Have a look at the Our Watch guidelines and the Domestic and Family Violence Media Guide by the Queensland Government.

These (are supposed to) educate reporters on how to correctly report stories on both sexual assault and family violence. But we still see inaccurate articles from family violence incidents that victim-blame across all media streams. The media are a huge influence on the public, for good and for bad. They’ve been recognised as a way to help change attitudes by educating using evidence-based reporting. There is still a lot of work to be done in this area to make some serious change in victim-blaming for women.

Some good reading

Have a look at Jane Gilmore’s Book ‘Fixed It’ and her website where she fixes media reports of male violence against women. I love the work she does.

Jessica Taylor’s recently released book called ‘Why women are blamed for everything’ – is also an excellent read. In this book she looks at the root cause of what leads people to blame women when they have been abused, trafficked or harassed by men. Her book is available at most online bookshops.

So, what exactly is victim blaming?

· Can take many forms and often be quite subtle. People participate in it without recognising they are doing so.

· A type of public stigma and tends to view victims of family violence and sexual violence as responsible for the violent acts perpetrated against them.

· Also seen as an attitude that suggests that the person who is a victim of crime is held partially or wholly responsible for the crime against them.

· Can be referred to as a practice of questioning. What could a woman experiencing violence have done differently to stop it happening? It implies the fault of the crime lies with her, rather than the person perpetrating the violent act.

What does it look like?

Comments like:

· “There is no point in helping this woman, she has gone back to her partner four times already”.

· “She asked for it, she provoked it by arguing with him”.

· “She had a choice - she didn’t have to marry him”.

· “She should just leave”.

· “They are both as bad as each other”.

· “They were both using drugs”.

· “She shouldn’t have walked through that park at night’.

· “I would have been more careful and caught a taxi”. (Although this comment is probably unintentional, it is still victim- blaming at some level)

According to a 2015 study, victim-blaming can be suggestions that women provoke victimisation by:

· Dressing provocatively (short shirt, makeup, low cut tops)

· Intoxicated or using drugs at time of the assault

· Are less respectable women (unemployed, low socio-economic, sex workers)

· Physically not resisting their abuser

· Putting themselves in a risky situation

· Arguing on purpose

All of these increase the belief that women are at fault when they are sexually assaulted or experience violence at the hands of men. This ultimately leads to a lack of accountability for men.

Busting some myths:

“She wanted it”.

No-one asks to be sexually assaulted. No-one asks to be verbally abused or physically assaulted. If you hear this type of victim-blaming it is clear no-one is listening or supporting the woman who has been assaulted. Stand up and correct the comment – hold the perpetrator accountable. He had choices but he chose to use violence.

“He grew up with family violence. His father was violent so he thought that was normal behaviour. He didn’t know it was wrong.”

These types of comments suggest that the abuser isn’t at fault. As mentioned above - he had choices but he chose to use violence. When this type of comment is tolerated, it can make women reluctant to come forward and seek help.

“She is not telling the truth. She is doing this to get at him.”

This is a common accusation we hear in the family and sexual violence sector. In Australia, there isn’t actually anywhere that collects false reports from women. But there isn’t any evidence to support this. But we do have evidence that 1 in 6 women experience physical and sexual violence by their partner or former partner and 1 in 4 experience emotional abuse by a current or previous partner. We also know that on average, one woman a week is murdered by her current or former partner. The majority of women are telling the truth. So, believe them!

Impacts on women

Women who experience sexual assault or violence are the ones most impacted by victim-blaming. It would be hard for anyone to cope when they are blamed for it.

A 2014 paper states that victim-blaming allows a more lenient attitude towards the person who perpetrated the crime. It removes them from the situation and their motives and actions are not questioned – subsequently they avoid any responsibility.

Other impacts on women:

· Secondary trauma can cause psychological issues– depression, anxiety and PTSD.

· Stigmatisation – women then don’t seek help from family, friends, formal agencies and police

· Fear from being judged, blamed and not believed. This results in a reluctancy to report incidents to police

· They feel guilt and shame for what has happened to them

· Can increase self-blame that is already felt by the woman from long term abuse

· Loss of security and sense of trust with people

Victim blaming also has implications in the justice system. It is less likely that perpetrators of crime will be brought to justice if the focus is on the victim rather than the behaviour of the perpetrator.

There is a widespread culture of victim-blaming particularly for women who have experienced sexual assault. It is no wonder they fear to speak out or to report their experiences.

Improving your practice when working with victims of crime

It doesn’t matter what role you are in; your clients will benefit from being around supportive people who understand the consequences of victim-blaming.

Do:

Provide a safe and non-judgement space for them.

Recognise how extremely difficult it is for clients to share stories of trauma and abuse.

Remember that telling their story can be extremely triggering. Give the client the time they need. Be aware of trauma informed principles.

Believe clients when they share their stories willingly. They are trusting you to treat them and their personal life experiences with respect.

Inform the client of their options and available resources. Ensure you know what they are. Look at support groups, counselling, and online information about self-blame, victim-blaming, emotional abuse.

Be compassionate and listen to what they have to say. Don’t offer any interpretations of the violent incident or assault.

Be an empathetic listener and don’t offer suggestions on how the situation could have been handled.

Always reassure the client – it’s not their fault.

Understand that part of the brain’s response to trauma is to block out certain memories. Don’t ask questions, just listen.

Understand that every client will act differently as trauma impacts everyone in various ways.

Remember that clients who have experienced violence or abuse are the experts of their situation. Trust their judgement.

Always remember - there is no action someone can take that justifies abuse and violence.

Don’t:

Ask any accusatory questions (what were you wearing, how much did you drink) or any “why” questions.

Offer them your advice or solutions. All they need from you is your support and ability to listen with empathy.

Question victims – your clients know themselves better than anyone else. Don’t question the validity of their experience of violence and abuse.

Agree with any comments from the client that justifies the perpetrators behaviour or actions. Educate the client “it is never her fault; it is the fault of the person using the violence”.

Judge or evaluate the client’s relationship with the perpetrator of the abuse. Even if it’s a client who has sought help multiple times.

Use statements like “women are also violent” or “men also suffer violence from women”. Statements like these minimise the extent and impact of family violence experienced by women.

Explain to clients that both partners are to blame for a situation. Family violence or sexual abuse is an intentional act. The person who perpetrates the violence is the only one responsible.

Question why the client chooses to stay with the perpetrator of the violence or returns to the relationship. This diverts the attention away from the perpetrator and shifts the responsibility to the client. It also implies that the client can make the violence stop.

About you

· Reflect after the client has left – could you have done anything differently?

· Educate yourself further on victim-blaming – create further awareness within your practice.

· Tell your clients - that it isn’t their fault. Reinforce this. My favourite one I use with clients is: “it is not your fault he chooses to use violence”.